Teary confession time
(Don't read if you don't like immature whining)
Today, I decided that I was ready. I finally asked Weng why he withheld the rest of Gravitation from me. *sigh*
He admitted that it's because I refused to tell him who my crush was. I was shocked. He did it over something petty as that!
The truth is that I was very hurt. Because I "knew" him to be an upright and nice person. So I thought that I was the cause. I mean, he said things like "an eye for an eye." I thought that I had done something to offend him very badly. So badly that he would not only give me my cds back but also taunt me with word games over it. I was angry at myself for it, thinking that I had chased one of my closest friends away. I buried it all inside and acted cavalier. But that didn't help with all those loose emotions. To think how I had all those sleepless nights blaming myself...
To add salt to the wound, a girl later told me that he had passed the cds on to her instead. I was pretending to be fine. To be composed. Until she asked, "isn't Weng your friend?" That cut to the bone...
And today, he admitted it with a great deal of sarcasm and taunting... words like "what were you expecting?" and "well, if ur that upset, it wouldn't do good on my conscience if u jumped off a 13 storey building cos i didn't hand it over. Apparently, you can survive 12 storeys, well, youngs girls can anyway"... and then when I stopped short of telling him why it hurt... he threatened to withhold it from me again!
Then, I realised that I was the one to blame... yes, me! Because I was too trusting. I trusted Weng and I trusted Eugin. Both with the same outcome...
I know, you probably think I'm overly sensitive and everything right now... you probably wish to puke and think I'm childish or a sissy or something... and compared to all the troubles out there, mine is minor... but I just can't help feeling hurt... I hate emotions...
So, what next?
Today, I decided that I was ready. I finally asked Weng why he withheld the rest of Gravitation from me. *sigh*
He admitted that it's because I refused to tell him who my crush was. I was shocked. He did it over something petty as that!
The truth is that I was very hurt. Because I "knew" him to be an upright and nice person. So I thought that I was the cause. I mean, he said things like "an eye for an eye." I thought that I had done something to offend him very badly. So badly that he would not only give me my cds back but also taunt me with word games over it. I was angry at myself for it, thinking that I had chased one of my closest friends away. I buried it all inside and acted cavalier. But that didn't help with all those loose emotions. To think how I had all those sleepless nights blaming myself...
To add salt to the wound, a girl later told me that he had passed the cds on to her instead. I was pretending to be fine. To be composed. Until she asked, "isn't Weng your friend?" That cut to the bone...
And today, he admitted it with a great deal of sarcasm and taunting... words like "what were you expecting?" and "well, if ur that upset, it wouldn't do good on my conscience if u jumped off a 13 storey building cos i didn't hand it over. Apparently, you can survive 12 storeys, well, youngs girls can anyway"... and then when I stopped short of telling him why it hurt... he threatened to withhold it from me again!
Then, I realised that I was the one to blame... yes, me! Because I was too trusting. I trusted Weng and I trusted Eugin. Both with the same outcome...
I know, you probably think I'm overly sensitive and everything right now... you probably wish to puke and think I'm childish or a sissy or something... and compared to all the troubles out there, mine is minor... but I just can't help feeling hurt... I hate emotions...
So, what next?
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