New Year's Eve and stranded without a resolution

I've finally gotten a piano teacher and she's much better than my previous one. But she's real costly... I guess that's the price you pay if you want to take exams, I guess. She thinks that I'm taking a big risk in skipping grades and because I haven't had lessons for a year plus I've picked a really challenging piece to play. In short, she's isn't confident I'll put the work in. So, I've been practicing a lot to prove my commitment.

I've had two very odd dreams lately. One is an apocalyptic vision where a tornado suddenly appears followed by four-storied tidal waves, storms, volcanic eruptions and snow (which is very unnatural in a tropical country). And when it all finally subsides, there are giant trees suddenly sprouting through the ruins. Bak thinks it's mother earth's rebirth or something. The other one involves me sleeping at home while missing an important exam. No one noticed that I wasn't in the exam room. And I begged some woman to let me sit for it anyway but she refused. My exams are over though... I shouldn't be getting nightmares about exams.

And lately, I've been hooked on ISketch. There's this room called tandem where two people cooperate in drawing the picture. Really fun. I've also been lounging about the chatrooms at ISketch and I've really gotten sick of the abbreviation ASL. I mean, the first thing they ask you is Age Sex Location... why -do- they care? And some really desperate people keep going "who wants to cam? Whisper me." I can only guess what cam means and I have a feeling it isn't at all innocent. I never knew there were so many desperate people out there... lol And this person I met seemed okay until I added him to MSN. Then he started dirty-talking... went straight to the block. (Yes, I'm really starting to love blocking my MSN contacts) Sheesh. At least some people there were decent... rarities. Oh, and this funny thing happened while I was drawing with someone in the tandem room. The words were "football field". We drew a field and then I started drawing what the British call a football while she started drawing what the Americans call a football. And she was like, wtf is this? It was really funny. Everyone in the room was laughing.

Stef has left for Toronto and Bak is leaving for NS. So many partings... Oh... and Bak got Nicholas as a boyfriend. They've been teased like crazy. But I think those two fit so well. She's got good taste.

Anyway, that's Christmas for me... nothing eventful happened. It's new year's eve already and I'll be starting college on the ninth. Oh yeah... I just found out that Weng and Jon want to do actuarial science and Stef is going to do medicine and lots of the rest are going to do law so I can really feel the peer pressure there... I mean... I don't want to be the only one without any prestigious qualification... my father says I won't feel left out if I won a Nobel Prize ( as if). I really have to get a PhD or something...

I hope life gets more eventful though...so here's to an eventful new year!

Sukisyo

Today, I began watching Sukisyo and I'd have to say it's much better than Gravitation. There isn't any Yuki there to spoil things. Instead there's a smouldering Sora who's much much more sexy. Matsuri is so much fun and Minato is sooo cool. And the yaoi-ness is overwhelming.

I also -finally- have a piano teacher. And my first class is on Friday! Woohoo! No need to wait for January to begin. According to Audrey, she spent three years going from teacher to teacher before stopping at this one, so this teacher must be something. She charges a bit more than the rest but she seems more enthusiastic. Since my father is fine with the fee, I'm set to go! Better yet, I'm not too late to take next year's Grade 8 exams. Alls well that ends well, no?

Cursed Chinese Lessons

I am forced, by my parents to take Chinese lessons. There is nothing all that wrong with that (except maybe I don't like the language). But the lessons spent with my brother really peeve me. I fail my reading everytime. But my brother passes. And this happens no matter how fluently I read. In fact, my reading and my brother's is comparable... he mispronounces many of the words and just reads them anyway, ignoring all errors. I might stop from time to time to repeat a word to make sure my pronunciation is right, but isn't it better than rushing through the whole thing with all the wrong intonations? Apparently not! And then they (yes, teacher included) laugh over it. In addition, I get roughly the same marks as him in dictation even though I'm much better. It's because whenever he doesn't remember or know a word, he'd ask the teacher how to write it and she'd tell him! What's the bloody point?! It's a dictation! Just because I refuse to cheat, I end up on the loosing end. I mean, I actually put in the work to memorise and all he does is ask the teacher. Nevermind that he didn't get his marks legitimately; he actually has the nerve to try comparing marks! This morning's lesson was no different and I'm unbearably vexed about it. I plan to record my teacher reading and practice imitating it so that she can no longer fail me without failing herelf, so to speak. That would be poetic justice wouldn't it?!!!

Thanks for listening.

Yearbooks, haircuts and acquaintances

Pardon the absence... couldn't get the computer from my sis for two days. She's such a hog...

Anyway, two nights ago, my father was thumbing through my school yearbook and he asked me who in class I liked and wanted me to point the person out in the yearbook pictures. LOL. I told him, why should I? and that he'd regret it. But he kept insisting. So... I gave in. As could be expected, he wore his angriest frown and told me to stop joking and that it was not funny. It was not funny, I agreed. I was serious. I did warn him... but most parents don't listen to or believe their children one way or the other... then he started this talk about it's all in the mind, and you're confused and it's just a phase and it's normal because you're friends. He thinks it'll just pack up and leave. As if I hadn't thought about that already... adults... Bak's right... their all in denial... not my problem... at least I've given due warning...

Yesterday morning... my parents forced me to have a haircut. It took me three months to grow it to my eye-level and they just wanted me to snip it off. Before this, they could use the school regulations excuse... (they still tried that one)... but I'm no longer a school-goer, I reminded them. They made me cut anyway, and there was no way I could escape. Needless to say, I was sulky for half a day and frowned the whole time (my brother says I sounded and looked like one of those little kids who are forced to go to the barber while they squirmed and cried the way through). The haircut wasn't as bad as I expected... the barber didn't see the need to make me wear a hair-hat. But that does not change the fact that I absolutely despise haircuts. I'm so peeved. My parents won't even allow a seventeen year-old to decide when to have a haircut! What will happen if I secretly got pierced? Or so many of the other things I've been secretly planning for years? And the worse thing is that my parents are applying for a pr to Australia. They're going over when I go off to study! I must find a way to escape...

I met my brother's classmate (they're arch-enemies). Apparently, he's somehow told Audrey that I watch Gravitation. We talked about that and she seems to like it too. And she has Sukisyo and Loveless which she greatly recommends and will be lending me! The anticipation! She's also another Gackt+L'Arc fan! She told me so many things that I never knew about Gackt (although I did suspect ;) ). Since she going to lend me shows and since she doesn't mind yaoi (I think she likes it... =) ), I think I'll let her read my stories. Fair exchange. At least she won't react to my radical stories like my father did (he blew up).

Last night was spent at my aunt's. As usual, I hammered away at her baby grand. I just love that piano... not the best touch I've ever encountered but the only grand I have access to. Half the night was spent at the piano, a small fraction spent eating and the rest was spent trying to get drunk on some fruit juice that had been mixed with XO (ten to twenty percent). The eight (give or take) cups I had had no effect. I must have more innate resistance to intoxication than I know (considering It's the first time I'm drinking that much)...

Anyway, that's all of my uneventful life... I'm two thirds through my Schumann piece (Yay)... erm... not so much a venting... this sounds more like a ranting... well, I suppose one needs to an output...

Bye.

Lewd driving instructor...

I just finished with the six hour compulsary class and passed my driving laws exam. The teacher of the class was spouting lewd jokes the whole time, some involving grasping hold of the wrong gear shifts and guys being able to refill engine water with urine. It was funny at first but... very soon it became quite tasteless (quite hard to chortle and blush at the same time). I got 45/50 for the exam with the passing mark being 42. Mom asked if it meant that I didn't know 10% of the laws... no. It means I didn't know 10% of the technicalities. Anyway, I'm just waiting for the government to finish my L license then I can start real driving lessons. I'm a little confused - I'm afraid but I'm also excited, sort of. I mean, on one hand, I fear that I'll make my driving instructor wet his pants, on the other hand, I can't wait to make the instructor wet his pants. lol

I've found myself a piano teacher. The problem is, I'm too late to take next year's exam. The good news is, my syllabus will last another year. Counter to the good news is that I might finish A levels before I take the exam and end up leaving for wherever I'm headed to next. Oh well, the exam isn't all the important, I guess. I mean, the music is much more important, right?!

The third day of my cooking, I slightly burnt the fish... but it was edible after all. My sister loved it though... don't know why...

Erm... what else? I'm half way through Smoke Over Water on the guitar... finding it hard to squeeze in time to practice all three instruments everyday though...

Oh... I just found out how to record sounds with a conventional mic. This should be fun... now if only I could acquire a better-sounding voice...

Erm... that's all....?

Visit to BlogThings

Scroll to the bottom of the page. I forbore to take the one with the title "how addicted are you to blogthings?".

A little idle surfing to alleviate my moping... although I have to stop listening to sad songs and playing them...

PS For those listening and with plenty of spare time, take those quizzes too.

Goodbye, social life.

At the start of this month, Stef returned me Exiles unread after hoarding it for months. She said she didn't have time to read it before going. BUT. She borrowed a book from Josh. And when I asked, she said that she could return it to him before leaving for Canada but she didn't think she would be seeing me before leaving. Which I thought ridiculous. Why wouldn't I be seeing her off? Plus, she just avoided me at the prom so she ended up being the only one of my close friends who I didn't dance with. Yesterday, she tried to keep a gathering secret from me. Though I might not have been able to attend, at least she could have chosen to not try to keep it secret. I mean, she IS one of my closest friends. Then it struck me - I wasn't one of her closest. After all this time, after all the hanging out together, all the times I'd helped her out... but perhaps I should have seen it coming. I mean, I just realised that she has never told me anything about herself. All she ever did was try to squirrel my thoughts out of me. And it helped her much that Weng, who I talk to often and who often tries to point the conversations in my direction tells her everything... I've been giving everything and received very little... Josh usually says that I'm the last to know every scandalous thing or event that goes around. But how am I supposed to know any of it if I'm never told?!

I GIVE UP. All of it is going nowhere. I thought I had finally found somewhere where I belong. Since primary school, it's always been like this, with "friends" coming and going. It's never really gotten any better. Even someone as docile as Eugin can't keep himself from backstabbing me. And it's happened over and over againthis year. Why does an introvert like me bother with friendships? The pain outweights the joy by a mile. There's not much point in it. Any of it. So it's time to save on tears. It's time to give up MSN messenger and hanging out. It's time to embrace my introverted nature.

Sorry. (Apologizing to my digital piano as well).

Abysmally bored...

Name: Yew Choe
Birthday: 18 July
Birthplace: KL
Current Location: PJ
Eye Color: Dark brown, almost black
Hair Color: Black
Height: 173 cm (5’ 8” for those old fashioned ones who still use the old system =P)
Right Handed or Left Handed: right but I can write with the left
Your Heritage: Cantonese
The Shoes You Wore Today: Reebok sneakers
Your Weakness: insecurity, chocolate, forgetfulness, the good-looking perhaps?
Your Fears: heights, rejection
Your Perfect Pizza: pineapples, olives
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Win the International Chopin Competition?... erm… die…
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: Indeed, lol, erm..., huh?
Thoughts First Waking Up: (doesn’t think anything when waking up)
Your Best Physical Feature: erm… I don’t think there are any… some complain (and tease) how my hair is unnaturally straight and shiny… but it comes out horrible after haircuts… erm… a big mouth, very good for stuffing food with.
Your Bedtime: None.
Your Most Missed Memory: I don’t have any memories I really like… playing violin onstage maybe… or taking exams (don’t scream)…
Pepsi or Coke: pepsi
MacDonalds or Burger King: McDonalds
Single or Group Dates: No experience = no preference
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Erm…
Chocolate or Vanilla: Both
Cappuccino or Coffee: Cappuccino
Do you Smoke: No
Do you Swear: Rarely… depending on whether shite counts… ^^
Do you Sing: All the time… even if some people do complain…
Do you Shower Daily: Most of the time…
Have you Been in Love: No… what kind of question is that?
Do you want to go to College: I don’t really have a choice.
Do you want to get Married: No thanks.
Do you believe in yourself: Who would believe in me?
Do you get Motion Sickness: Rarely.
Do you think you are Attractive: Nope.
Are you a Health Freak: Nope.
Do you get along with your Parents: Most of the time with my mother… my father doesn’t have the temper or patience for my scatterbrainess.
Do you like Thunderstorms: Absolutely lovely… as long as it doesn’t cause a surge and deprive me of electricity.
Do you play an Instrument: Piano and violin.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: A sip… shhh
In the past month have you Smoked: Yes… all of it bloody second hand!
In the past month have you been on Drugs: No… not giving up my neurons for anything.
In the past month have you gone on a Date: *cries*
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: A lot.
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: No. Plenty of oreo icecream though.
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: Yes.
In the past month have you been on Stage: No.
In the past month have you been Dumped: By Geridon’s golden balls, how can I be dumped if I wasn’t in a relationship in the first place? Why are all the questions so… loveydovey? -.-
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: No. Too scandalous for society…
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: Nope. Stealing looks at people maybe… *blush*
Ever been Drunk: Nope.
Ever been called a Tease: lol No idea what that means…
Ever been Beaten up: Nope. Almost.
Ever Shoplifted: Nope.
How do you want to Die: No idea… who cares… it’ll probably be alone and in a very boring way…
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: Hmmm… famous musician… or a nuclear scientist…
What country would you most like to Visit: Mars…

In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: deep green or ice blue
Favourite Hair Color: blonde/gold
Short or Long Hair: Who cares? That can be… arranged…
Height: No idea…
Weight: Skinny if possible…
Best Clothing Style: Anything nice…

Number of Drugs I have taken: None… wait… tetosterone and adrenaline from the good old pituitary gland
Number of CDs I own: Too many to keep track of…
Number of Piercings: Planning to get some without my parent’s permission… lol… they’ll never see it coming…
Number of Tattoos: None.
Number of things in my Past I Regret: Everything… lousy decision-maker coming through…

Prom

It was unexpectedly a bit enjoyable... no comment... -.-

*sigh*

I just realised what a scatterbrain I am... forgetting things all over and getting into trouble for it...

And a burden to everyone... a worry too...

So, I've decided to stop giving in to crushes... I'm not the relationships type anyway...

Instead, I'll direct my energies at studies and music. Especially my studies because I just realised that it's the only thing I'm good at, the only thing I really have.

My new resolution/goal/whatever.

Spilled Drinks

Warning: Not for the faint hearted. I mean it. And Genevieve so means it!

Foreword: 1. I couldn’t decide between Genevieve and Medea. Genevieve is sexier but Medea is so much more appropriate to the plot. So read it as whichever you like. 2. I know, lousy title. Whatever.

Valentines day.

Paul Leon Scavo was a nerd. But that didn’t stop him from thinking about the beautiful blonde whose name he still did not know. All he remembered was the way he had collided into her in the bustling cafeteria a month ago, his drink drawing a coffee brown stroke down the side of her dress. They had both cried out in surprise.

He had expected to be socially cast out from that day onwards. But she had been friendly, gracious and very forgiving. Her eyes glowed with some light he had never before seen. He was thinking of how beautiful she was when a kick from below drew him from his reverie.

“Hmmm?” he muttered, still dazed.

“I asked, did you get anything,” Dirk uttered irritably.

“Oh… actually, yeah…” Paul opened his backpack, rustled through his numerous notes and gingerly removed from it a dainty white card. He showed it to Dirk but did not put it in Dirk’s expecting palm.

Dirk looked at the “Happy Valentines Day!” carefully written there and commented, “Spartan…” and then he asked with a grin, “your first ever?”

Paul nodded slightly, cheeks blushing. His hands cradled it as if it were made of glass.

“Congratulations.”

“Thanks,” he replied before putting it back in his backpack.

“Never thought you’d ever get one. Very plain… not one of those fancy celebrity types. Know who it’s from?”

Paul shook his head.

“Secret admirer? Better watch out. Might be a stalker,” Dirk joked.

Paul smiled weakly. “If you only knew”, he whispered.

Their organic chemistry professor’s lecture drew to a close. Dirk left him with a “bye.” As the lecture hall emptied out, Paul stole a glimpse over his shoulder. His heart lurched. Could it be? Am I being paranoid? he asked himself. He had begun to notice the figure of the man, hiding in the shadows following him about a week ago. Hastily finishing the note of thanks, he got up and left at a little run.

By the time he arrived on the third floor, Paul was already panting. He slipped the note behind a portrait of the school’s founder and then paused to rest his lungs. He had been communicating with his “secret admirer” in this way for a month. Ever since they had began speaking to one another, Paul felt on top of the world. He was in love. And though he never actually saw his romantic correspondent, he knew it was her… he knew it every time they passed one another in the hallways and she winked at him. He almost suffered a seizure the first time or at least an asthmatic attack. But now, he replied by winking back.

His eyes swept the corridor. There was no one in sight. Not even when he squinted at the shadows. Smiling, he left, head still in the clouds.

As soon as Paul’s footsteps receded, a different pair of shoes came down the corridor and stopped in front of the portrait. Upon reading the note, the tall figure smiled, exuberance expressed in the curves of his mouth.

***

Dark clouds smothered the waning evening sunlight, portending rain. Autumn leaves were blown down the street, leaving a trail of orange and yellow all over the pavement. The howls of wind followed by the howls of dogs took turns drifting down the darkening streets.

Even footfalls tapped out its four beat rhythm as it crossed the street and approached the playground. Then it stopped. Listening. Listening. Listening to the silence and to the quick heartbeats.

Taking in a lungful of air, Paul told himself to calm down before continuing. Then he heard it again, the soft pattering that he had become so familiar with. Closer and closer they came but he could see no one in the gloom, just the silhouettes of firs and birches. I’m being stalked again, he thought. Very close.

Loosing his composure, he ran. Though his lungs hurt for desperate want of breath; though his head spun and his eyesight blurred, he kept on running. The rain came, deafening to him in his dizziness. Its din sounded to him like more than a single pair of feet were chasing him, its rhythm faster and faster.

Then out of nowhere, thunder reached for him. A flash of lights pierced the rain. Brakes screeched. And he screamed as a strong hand from behind caught the back of his t-shirt and yanked.

Paul screamed as he was thrown backwards onto the grass, glasses askew. His vision clouded as he reached for his inhaler and breathed in over and over, knowing that death awaited him should he blackout before his airways were cleared.

Slowly, vision swirled back to clarity. He was on his side on the edge of the road. A truck had stopped a few metres down the road and its driver was walking in his direction. He tried to get up but his legs wouldn’t obey him. So he just waited there, shaking from the cold and from fear, wet to the bone, listening to rhythm or the rain and the squeaking of wind-blown swings.

“Ya okay?” the truck driver asked in a scared voice.

He nodded.

“Can ya walk?”

He shook his head.

“All right then. I’ll take ya back home.”

He wanted to object, having heard every variation of the “hitch-hikers taking rides from strangers” stories but decided that it might be better than being chased again by the stalker – for he was sure by now that he was being stalked.

***

By the next day, Paul hadn’t told anyone about the previous evening, not even his parents. But now, he recounted every detail on paper as he wrote a letter with no address. Somehow, he mused, he was not at all afraid to tell his love about anything and everything. Somehow, she just understood him and he understood her. Although they were socially so far apart, somehow, they ‘clicked’. As he slipped the letter behind the heavy portrait, he already felt better.

As soon as he sat down in the lecture hall, Paul felt a swell of elation. Upon his table, there was an elaborately decorated invite. Pink and reds lines formed curls and flowers that boxed in a few printed details. After reading it, he was bursting with joy – he had just been invited to a party by some socially revered girl named Genevieve. How did a social pariah like me get invited to this, he asked himself. “Oh,” he exclaimed a moment later. Of course, this had to be her. “Genevieve, Genevieve, Gene…” he pronounced a few times and decided that he liked it.

***

That night, Paul spoke with her for the first time. His guess was right. Her name was Genevieve and she had eyes that glittered away his senses. She escorted her guest into the house, striding through the door in that sienna dress that accentuated her eyes. The others in the house looked up at her guest with smiles often given for the sake of politeness while the people behind them cursed and slandered in perfect silence.

Paul, being a nerd, knew this very well. But he couldn’t care. The important thing was that he was here. With her.

He didn’t talk to many of the other guests as most of them either avoided him or glared. He did greet a few prominent personalities such as Libby, the bitch, Sandra, the stooge and Amanda, the slut. Such were the descriptions that were given them at school and he found it obvious why.

As the night progressed, he started to feel giddy from all the drinks. He didn’t usually indulge in alcoholic beverages so he found whatever it was that they were serving a little much. Noticing the slightly queasy look on his face, Genevieve suggested a little fresh air and together they walked out into the gardens of her house. Wealth showed very clearly in the way the gardens expanded outwards in a great radius of one and a half kilometers and in the way the trees formed a small maze of foliage.

He noticed how far her personality was from what he had imagined from the letters. Perhaps letters are a lousy medium of communication, he thought. He would have worried that she would think the same and be disappointed with his personality but she said nothing so he relaxed. But something from the pit of his stomach nagged at him. Perhaps the fish wasn’t very fresh, he mused.

“You look uncomfortable,” she said.

“Er… yeah… I don’t know why.” He looked into those glittering eyes and felt a wave of vertigo sweep over him. It was gone as quickly as it had come but she had already noticed it.

She looked away “I’m sorry,” she apologized.

“It’s not you.” He blushed. But his instincts said it was. Something was very wrong and it stirred incomprehensible dread in him.

“I want to show you something.” She gestured for him to follow, her hand placed at his shoulder comforting. Putting aside whatever it was that bugged him, he followed her as she stepped through gaps in the trees and over small man-made streams.

“You have… lovely garden,” Paul said, trying to break the uncomfortable silence as they walked deeper into her garden, past the leafy curtains that obscured vision. It sounded flat. She smiled, amused.

Finally, she stopped by the side of a bench and sat down, one hand motioning for him to join her. He sat beneath the light of a lamp post.

As he sat, what she did was wholly unexpected. She grasped her own dress at the hem and tore ferociously while her other hand knocked the bench hard, bruising herself. He stared at her in bewilderment, wondering why she should assault herself.

Then she turned to face him. Both her hands held tightly to his arms, constraining him as he tried to escape. He stood up but fell to the ground, his legs like jelly.

“How did you enjoy your drink?” she jeered. “Don’t you find me… paralysing?”

He was too shocked to reply, too nauseated to resist. As his vision blurred and lost focus, he could only stare in horror at the shining glint in her eye, predatory. How had he missed it? It had been there all along. The moment he spilled coffee on her dress, she had eyed him that way. He should have ran. He should run. But it was too late, wasn’t it?

“No! Stop! Please, no!” was all he could manage. The glint of a sharp instrument of some sort joined the pair of golden eyes. Cold steel traced painful chilling lines along his skin. His heart beat sluggishly but loudly enough to be audible over Genevieve’s high pitch taunting.

He lay there for a long time, drifting to and from consciousness, squirming with dread, pain and humiliation. At some point, he couldn’t tell when, his shirt was forcefully removed. He knew because of the way the cold wind rustled through the trees burned at places where he must be bleeding.

“You could have asked for his permission you know.”

Genevieve gasped. She was startled to hear the angry voice reprimand her and even more surprised to recognize it. The corners of her mouth stretched in a grin that contorted her features. As she turned around, Paul could see a familiar tall figure behind her – his stalker.

Panic finally emerged through the thick miasma of shock. Paul screamed as loudly as he could. His voice formed a muted moan before failing him in a series of aggravated coughs and wheezes. He gasped for air and his airways dilated even more.

Above him, the stranger and Genevieve battled. She fought with an animal frenzy while he fought with desperation. Phrases like, “you never learn”, “did you miss me?” and “never!” intruded themselves on Paul’s fuzzy recollection of that moment. Her long nails slashed red streaks across his face. In retaliation, he hit her with a brick that was used to border one of the trees. She moaned as she fell unconscious.

Hands shaking, he searched for and found Paul’s inhaler and frantically puffed medicine into Paul’s mouth. Paul’s skin felt clammy beneath his hands, like that of a corpse.

Paul opened his eyes, breathing deeply. Someone put his glasses back for him. He could see his stalker clearly for the first time. “ Who?”

“I’m Alexius. You should know me quite well from my letters by now…”

Paul’s eyes widened in disbelieve. “You?!” He coughed and wheezed again but pushed away the inhaler, controlling his breathing on his own. Finally, his airways cleared again.

Alex smiled, relieved. “Yes, me. I found it hard to approach you so…”

Paul stayed silent for a few minutes, not knowing what to say. As Alex moved closer, into the light of the lamp post, he noticed how Alex’s eyes were a dazzling shade of hazel that reminded him of his mother’s. He's quite good looking, Paul thought in spite of himself, obviously still very much intoxicated. Alex’s hard jaw and ruler-straight nose were connected by bright red gashes on the side of his face. Seeing the blood trickle from his cheek, Paul made a strangled sound, still dazed from the shock and drowsy from whatever was in his drink.

Alex wiped away the blood before frowning at Paul, wondering if Paul was afraid of him. “Are you hurt?”

When Paul did not answer, he leaned closer, coming into the lamplight. Another question was poised on his lips when Paul blacked-out.

***

A pair of glittering eyes stared at him from the darkness. First they were soft. But they slowly zoomed into focus, two blazing pinpricks of golden light. Then he heard “I’m Genevieve, nice to meet you. Don’t you find me paralyzing?”

Paul woke up with a scream. He was sweating profusely and wheezed. Subconsciously, his hand reached out to the right where his inhaler was usually found in his room. Realising that he was not in his room, he sat up and frantically searched when his inhaler was stuffed into his hand.

After a few breaths of medication, he looked up to see Alex standing over him. “Where?”

“My house… try not to make too much noise. My parents are asleep,” Alex answered. He pulled up a chair and snuggled up in it. He offered the mug in his hand but Paul shook his head.

“So, why were you stalking me?” Paul asked, still quite scared.

“I wasn’t. I mean, Genevieve was following you, so I followed her… to make sure she didn’t try anything,” he explained.

“Then how did you know where to find us?” His voice still rang with suspicion.

“Forgive me. I didn’t. That’s why I was almost too late.”

Paul looked at him for a while, waiting for more. When he didn’t continue, Paul insisted that he explain everything. Alex hesitated, pained.

After some consideration, he said, “two years back, she drugged me too…” He paused to think of what to say next. “The smart bitch even tried to accuse me of raping her… Thankfully, the one who walked in was a police officer. Not one of those corrupt ones either... Anyway, when I saw her following you one day, I suspected something. She wouldn’t make the same mistakes twice.” His voice was even, not showing the slightest hint of anger. But where his voice succeeded, his eyes failed. They smoldered.

“So she made it look like I…?” Paul asked, incredulous.

Alex smiled mischievously. “Almost made it too. But I have the knife with her fingerprints all over it. Besides, she doesn’t have any evidence. If she’s smart, she’ll keep quiet about it. And she will… I got your glass too, unwashed. So, basically, you’re safe.”

“Should I go to the police?”

“You can try… but I doubt they’d believe that a girl… wouldn’t hurt though…”

“Thanks. Thanks for saving me… twice… and for cleaning my wounds.” Awkward...

Alex grinned, unsure of what to say. Instead he muttered, “I hate being asthmatic… I can’t run down a single corridor without breaking out into wheezes.”

“You… that was in my letter to… it can’t be…” Paul objected.

They both stayed silent for a while. Then Alex asked, “are you disappointed? That your letters weren’t read by some girl? By Genevieve?”

Paul gulped. “No… No, I’m not. Just… just surprised. I should be getting home… what time is it?” He glanced at his watch. The digital screen was scratched across the middle and the time was no longer legible.

“Half past two. Not safe to travel the streets at this time though. You’re better off staying here.”

Paul wanted to object but he felt much too tired to stand up. Smiling weakly, he nodded. At least let me call my parents.”

“Okay. Here’s the phone. Watch out for the…!”

He was too late. Paul had reached over for the phone and tipped over a mug of cocoa sitting on the arm of Alex’s chair. The drink splashed onto Alex’s pants, creating a brown streak across his lap.

Remembering doing the same to Genevieve, Paul started laughing. When Alex demanded an explanation, Paul motioned for him to approach and then gave him a peck on the cheek. There was an awkward pause before they both began laughing together.

Wet = Fun

Weng threw a pool party at his house today. Third one this year and still fun as always. And as always, I was prepared to go in as soon as I got near the pool so that I wouldn't be forcefully pushed in (yes, I'm no fun). My victories today include Wei Hehn, Weng, En, Jonathan and JL. Wei Hehn got thrown in with his t-shirt on. That was fun.

We had all-out war in the pool. Random people were pushed in, splashed at, hit with rubber balls and floatation devices from behind and attacked with foam swimboards. It was pandemonium that resulted in a lot of laughing, shouting and very hoarse throats. Then there were the dolphin rides (someone becomes the dolphin and someone the passenger and the passenger holds on to the shoulders). Although this high quality dolphin was not for hire, I got mounted by Jonathan... lol... En kept on teasing me. And JL kept on trying to capture me for use as a dolphin EVEN THOUGH he already had Bin at his back... parasite... Brian and JL turned from dolphins to shark and terrorised the crowd. Endangered species? Yeah, right.

Then, we had truth or dare. Bin did a pole-dance with a coconut tree. Jing kissed Jonathan and then married him when she had her second dare (legally binding since there was Bin as priest(ess), a best man and marriage vows). Oh yes, Bin had to choose a random guy and resucitate him. Jonathan was the poor victim who had to pretend to drown, climb out of the pool and lie down. He gave her a hard time because he was blowing out of his mouth from all the laughing. She wasn't gentle either as she slapped him in the chest a few times and then gave up on him. She's certainly not joining Baywatch. Some others got kissed, can't remember who. I just remember laughing the whole time and hoping the little fish toy that was being spun didn't point at me.

Then everyone sat around in a small enclosed part of the pool and talked. Someone came up with the idea of Truth or Die and we were all interrogated, most of the questions involving crushes (with the occasional masturbation question from Jonathan. Don't ask.). When it came to my turn, I almost replied truthfully. Then I realised that people like Brian and Sandeeph were listening, so I panicked. Stef provided the perfect solution: I just said I would be lying and then said Cheryl (if you're asking, obviously not). That way, I didn't really have to lie.

I noticed Weng was shivering most of his time in the pool. And later on, I was shivering too. At dinner, my mother pointed out that I was thoroughly sunburnt and red as a lobster. I don't get it... I was cold but I got burnt? Anyway, I'm much too happy to think...

Just received news from my dad in Japan saying that:

1. there was a 4 point something earthquake
2. he just became the first in the country to get a Yoshinkan Aikido 3rd Dan certification from honbu dojo in Japan.

I'm so proud of him... but of course... no need to inflate his ego by telling him that. A simple congratulations... that's what I sent in my sms.

I spent the evening at some concert where my brother did a group dance. He was quite okay. But I had to listen to all the little children there "sing" as well and the mics were way too loud so I could only hear their high-pitched screeching. The commentator was so annoying! Most of the concert was lousy. Just a handful of performances were worth listening to. In other words, boredom.

At least I have Weng's pool party to look forwards to.

Happy idiot

::Random thoughts::

People always talk about evil as if it were a thing... root of all evil and all... but it really is the absence of good...

It never is too late.

The past doesn't matter. The future doesn't matter. All that matters is here and now. Good things are said to not last forever. But time, according to Einstein, is relative to the observer so a moment can be everlasting for someone who moves through it slowly, savouring every moment.

::/Random thoughts::

I just signed up for driving lessons. My mother was very irked by the fact that I accepted it as it was without getting any details whatsoever... I feel so idiotic... such a lousy consumer...

And yesterday was like this dream...

And this morning was a Gravitation marathon.

But now will be piano time...

I'm such a lousy blogger ain't I? Ah well, thank goodness it's private.

An ending or a beginning?

Prescript: Before I begin, let me just say that biology was an unmitigated, utter and unadulterated DISASTER. What a way to end an exam... English For Science and Tech was needless to say, ridiculously easy. Done. Now, for the main part of this...

The exams are over and I'm *officially* no longer a school student. Hurray? Makes me feel lost really... as if I had too many options and too few.

But I've solved my problem with Weng. He promised in his joking way that he wouldn't try something like that again... and being the naive person, I trust him... so we're good friends again... whew...

(which reminds me... there's still the rumour that Eugin likes me and David Khong furtively did this weird signature thingy on the inside of the back of my yearbook and there was a "am I cute?". I mean... eww? O_O I'm either paranoid or attracting all the wrong people.)

After the exams, we went to 1U to hang out... and for the girls, shop (amazing how they can never resist and do it for hours on end). Then we had lunch, the ten of us together. Really fun. I ordered a spicy olio thinking that Italian food wasn't usually that spicy. I was so very wrong. However, so were the rest. They never remembered it being this spicy. So, I let them try it. Jing was okay until somewhere halfway through the noodle, and then she just had this shocked expression. I gobbled it down anyway, even though it involved swollen lips and tears (great way to get them out of the way). They thought I was brave for finishing it. lol.

Then they went shopping crazy (need you ask?). Stef managed to break her sandals and had to buy new shoes. I, Bak and Cheryl popped over to MPH to get a book for Stef's birthday. It was a really scandalous book - Misfortune by Wesley Stace - about this orphan girl who was adopted but is really a boy but made a girl because the guardian wanted one. The "dark secret" gets out and all hell breaks loose. The type of kinky novel that I'm commonly associated with (Cheryl remembered my short story). It was so interesting that Bak couldn't decide whether to get it for Stef or for herself. We got it for Stef anyway. Here's to her enjoying it like a great sin!

Then, we all got to watch Joshua pierce TWICE in the same ear. lol. I was wondering whether I should do it and give my parents a shock, but decided to save that for some later time.

At some point, me, Bak and Cheryl all just sat down on one of the red plush leather benches in the new wing of 1U and relax our rapidly deteriorating feet. And we discussed things like what to do with life after SPM and how the human race deserves to go extinct... things like that. :)

At the last minute, I decided to join them for dinner. Bak reserved the table under POGA, hehe. We spent five hours at Souled Out. I had chicken maryland... which was grilled or fried or something chicken + sausage + banana fritters + mashed potato + coleslaw... all at a very reasonable price. Then we snuggled together and gossiped (well, they did most of the gossiping, being the girls who are generally much more interesting and I can't say that I minded listening) for ages and kept on ordering water and in my and Hui En's case, inhaling second-hand smoke from all those smokers a few tables away(hehheh). I found out Cheryl was going out with Aaron (I don't know who that is) but he apparently just stopped talking to her and started french-kissing some girl instead... and everyone at the table was ready to castrate him *evil grin* However, it's very unfortunate for Cheryl; she keeps on getting manipulative guys who she doesn't deserve... who don't deserve her.

Then the Souled Out staff did a dance. But I'm sure everyone's eyes were drawn to the really good dancer in the middle. He was VERY good and quite ahem... appealing while doing that dance. And then, Stef got a glass of red wine on the house when they found out she just had her birthday. I got a sip and couldn't quite take it. It was sour, and bitter and warm all at the same time. Makes me wonder when people like Jacek tell me in their emails that they just took a glass of wine. A GLASS?!!! Kamisama!

I even got in two "boo!"s. One on Binnie in school in front of everyone. The whole group on onlookers were laughing when she screamed! Heh. And then I hit Bak with a running one in the shopping complex... really fun. Then there were the group hugs and the birthday singing and by the end of the night, we we're all very exhausted and sounded a little drunk even though there was no alcohol involved, just lots of teen energy gone wild. (I think everyone we came into contact with had a lot of patience with the noise we made, especially during dinner)

The previous night, I had this chat in a chatroom where this music teacher said commitment and motivation are more important than talent - something to think about. Also introduced to some Brit X-Japan fan the wonders that are Gackt and L'Arc.

To cap it all, I finally realised that I'm not only ignorant, clumsy, blur and completely incapable of directions, but I'm also naive, simple-minded, overly sensitive, insecure, shy and have friends and family who really care - all accomplished in one year (that's not the complete list)!

I'm exhausted myself. But I'm still high from all the excitement and needed to write this before sleeping.

Night.